vsbabu.org

Dealing with a difficult boss

MSN Careers: A difficult boss is a tough obstacle to overcome, but you can do it. Try these approaches:

1. Focus on the Problem, not the Person.
2. Listen and Learn as Much as You Advocate.
3. Do the Hard Creative Work.
4. Stress the Legitimacy of Your Desires.
5. Consider Your Alternatives.
6. Get Commitments in Writing.

These are the standard solutions any human interaction expert will give. Problem with this is that, the other person - your boss - may not be aware of these. Nevertheless, this article is a good read. My thinking would be:

Focus on the Problem, not the Person.

I agree. Nobody likes to hear they are the problem. Even if it is true (mostly, it is!). Moral: At times, you just have to ignore the egos.

Listen and Learn as Much as You Advocate.

Again, I agree. There is no substitute for real listening skills. You need to understand what the other person desires. This is useless only when the other person is plain nasty. Moral: Listen, and make others known that you listen.

Do the Hard Creative Work.

This doesn’t help that much. Over the years, I have realised that more than doing the hard work, it is having some tangible and recorded results and statistics that matter. If you are a system administrator you will understand this. You might’ve worked really hard to fix problems and to prevent problems, but at the end of a year, if you say "I fixed lot of problems", that doesn’t carry much weight. Instead, if you can say "I fixed these problems in this much time, there by saving this much money" and "I prevented these problems, there by saving this much money", that is lot more worthwhile. Moral: Keep a good time tracking spread sheet.

Stress the Legitimacy of Your Desires.

Absolutely. If I’m the manager, I would really like to hear what you would like, that will make you happy. And how you can explain the need for what you want. This is far more easier for me than you giving me a list of things that make you unhappy - leaving me to be creative on what you want. Moral: Think about solutions that you want than problems you want to be fixed.

Consider Your Alternatives.

It is always better to have choices. Unless you are working in USA on an H-1B visa, usually you have choices But, be careful before thinking "It could not be worse than the current situation. Let me give the other company a try". Most of the time, you don’t have much information about the alternatives, and the alternatives don’t have much information about you (this may or may not be a good thing). Moral: Make informed decisions about alternatives.

Get Commitments in Writing.

Absolutely. Your boss may not be there tomorrow. Or s/he might have a change of heart. Moral: Have reproducible proof of commitments.

Footnote: I’ve been very fortunate to have very good immediate managers so far in my career. So, this is not a problem for me at the moment.

1. Did you have anyone in mind??

   Posted by: M Johnson on August 21, 2002 02:50 PM

2. No! See the footnote. I've had pretty good managers so far in my career. But I've had such issues with peers before.

   Posted by: Babu on August 21, 2002 04:16 PM

3. I am working in a travel agent & my boss is a lady.The agent is very small but her behaviour & attitude is disgusting.When u re absent she talks to u to her niece & others & when u are there she smiles at u & tells u how much she values ur presence working with them. The company is a french black c/o.& all of them are french speaking except for me but i'm learning.If I have done something wrong unaware, she said nothing and give me a cold shouder or funny face not talk to me & that time I am not aware if what is it that I have done.The list goes on.What do u suggest? Must I stay or leave? I love my job but her attitude stinks.Once I discussed with her and she said she understood and apologised only to find out later she reversed everything to her husband & others (this is a family c/o)and saw me as a bad person that she cant tolerate.

   Posted by: Katherine on November 28, 2003 01:49 AM

4. Mrs. Jones was still cleaning the house when her husband came back from work. She was wearing dirty, old clothes and no stockings, her hair was not tidy, she had dust on her face, and she looked dirty and tired. Her husband looked at her and said, "Is this what I come home to after a hard day's work?"

   Mrs. Jones's neighbor, Mrs. Smith, was there. When she heard Mr. Jones's words, she quickly said goodbye and ran back to her house. Then she washed, brushed and combed her hair carefully, put on her best dress and her prettiest stockings, painted her face, and waited for her husband to come home.

   When he arrived, he was hot and tired. He walked slowly into the house, saw his wife and stopped. Then he shouted angrily, "And where are you going this evening?"

   
   After reading my story, cuold you please give me your opinion? did you like the story? do you think it's funny? do you meet the same situation? is there any funny or curious story that relate to my story you can tell us. I'll be waiting.
   

   Posted by: tran tam on October 3, 2004 09:06 AM